What Gender Is It?

If you're like most people, common everyday items look
inert to you. But what you may not know is that many of
them have a gender. For example:

Ziploc Bags -- Male, because they hold everything in but
you can see right through them.

Copier -- Female, because once turned off, it takes a while
to warm up. It's an effective reproductive device if the right
buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons
are pushed.

Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over inflated.

Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because to get it to go anywhere
you have to light a fire under it . . . and, of course,
there's the hot air part.

Sponges -- Female, because they're soft and squeezable and
retain water.

Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick
people up.

Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts
to the bottom.

Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the
last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

Remote Control -- Female . . . Ha! You thought it'd be male.
But consider -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without
it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to
push, he keeps trying.

Philip Humbert