English be more interesting and versatile if we did, too? These suggestions
are from the Washington Post, which asked readers to assign a gender to
nouns of their choice and explain their reason. Here are some of the best
submissions:
SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide
variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a
fire under it…and, of course, there's the hot air part.
SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
SHOE: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
COPIER: Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.
Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are
pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see
right through them.
WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.
SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HAMMER: Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but
it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL: Female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But consider, it
gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always
know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
Philip E. Humbert, PhD,
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